Got engaged? ... Now what!?
WEDDING PLANNING GUIDE
It’s been a whiiiiile since I’ve written some planning posts and since my inbox has been hit with a flurry of enquiries recently, paired with the fact we’re all STILL stuck in our homes, I thought it a good time to write my own version of a quick wedding planning guide.
A few years ago I did a 12 part blog post series which covered EVERYTHING in depth, you can view that on the link below, and I got it made into a snazzy little book that I send my couples. If you would like one, just drop me a message and I’m happy to post one out if you’re just at the start of the planning journey and a bit overwhelmed! It’s brutally honest and written from the perspective of someone who not only works in weddings but also got married the year I wrote it. It’s full of useful things I learnt, as well as quotes from my past couples about their regrets and nuggets of advice to hopefully help you pull of the most awesome and above all most ‘YOU’ wedding.
So, you got a ring… or you gave a ring, or you’ve just said it, or you’ve just got a bit of haribo going mouldy on your finger but however you’ve got here you’ve made a decision that you want to get your love in writing & celebrate with a bunch of people that you found someone you adore so much.
Usually this decision is followed by a magic little bubbly feeling of happiness in your belly, and then you start telling people and it shortly gets replaced with anxious overwhelm and what people actually expect you to do about your news which is startplanningrightaway!!!!
It’s fine just to chill. Have a breather, take advantage of everyone wanting to Zoom you with a glass of fizz to celebrate, and know it’s totally okay just to park any actual planning thoughts until you are ready to think about what you want. Then when you are ready, here’s a bit more about where is a good place to start, and how to break it down with prioritising what’s important to you both about your day and not sweating the small stuff.
THE DRAWING BOARD
First off, you want to decide on the BIG things that you know you want. Here are some prompts to get you thinking.
What kind of wedding would you like? Tipi in a field wedding, town hall wedding with relaxed pub get together after, stately home do, a sun-soaked destination wedding on a beach, an old barn with lots of rustic detailing, or a total elopement to Gretna Green just to name a few options!
When do you want it?
Do you want to wait a while and save? Is doing it as quick as possible important and sod off a long engagement?
Are you bothered by having it at a weekend, or how about a midweek wedding? (Cheaper, and cuts down your guest-list as those that cba to take it off work won’t come - good riddance.)
What season? Do you LOVE colour and the sun and want as many hours of daylight as possible, or do you dream of having a wintery, dark wedding with tons of fairy lights and candles? Or do you just love Halloween and want it full of Autumn goodness and pumpkins!
How many people do you want there? You don’t have to make a list but just think about if you want to go all out and have 150 people watching you down an aisle, or if actually you want to keep it intimate with JUST your absolute best ones. 2020 saw so many ‘micro-wedding's’ and I for one bloody love them. There are SO many advantages to having a smaller wedding, and once you fend off pressure from other people it can totally be the way to go for some people.
Read more about planning a micro wedding and why it’s awesome here:
You’ll see me highlighting YOU in this a lot and that’s because i want to emphasise this day is for you guys. The two of you. Not pleasing other people, not doing what they want, but sticking to your guns about how and where and why you’re doing something. Frankly if people can’t get onboard with that they need to take a step back!
THE DOLLAR DOLLAR BILLS
Once you’ve had some thoughts about the questions above you can start to visualise what kind of day it would be. Then next step is probably being realistic to see if you can afford it; if you’re dreaming about a 400 person reception on the moon right now maybe it’s back to the drawing board. Once you know the type of wedding you want it’s so much easier to research costs. There’s tons of info on the ‘average’ wedding - but who wants an average wedding!? If you want a food truck, know that’s going to be a hella lot less expensive than a 5 course meal. Then at the end of the finance research if it’s not all matching up ideally you need to prioritise and see where you can cut costs. Rule of thumb is less people = less money. And when I look at our guest list now I honestly could slash about 30% of people, which is a general theme I see crop up when I chat to past couples!
Read more about planning a budget wedding for tons of tips on saving cash!
PICK YOUR PLACE
Once you’ve got an idea of the type of wedding, make a list of venues / places to compare. Think about space for guests, corkage charges, availability, cost, accommodation, location, and find the one that speaks to you the most. Then just set a date and that’s when everything starts to fall into place around it.
PICK ALL THE FUN STUFF
Once you’ve got a venue and a date, go back to think about what’s important to you guys about the day - it could be having a killer band, amazing food, a free bar, your dream dress, a five tier cake, a kick ass videographer. Chances are some things are going to mean more than others to you and that’s how you know where to go next with booking & spending your hard earned cash.
*BIAS KLAXAN* obviously I am going to say this but awesome photos are a must. They are your memories, they are what you have to look back on and whether you have 10 or 100 people it’s the documentation of those moments and those hugs that you’re going to want to keep for ever and ever.
Remember key suppliers book up quick so get those bits locked down and then you can start thinking about the fun smaller things that don’t have as much of a time limit (rings, honeymoon etc).
That’s literally all there is to it. Don’t get bogged down with favours or invites or tiny decisions that take on some crazy important - just focus on what the key things are you wanted and everything else will be fine. Stay off the internet searching for ‘things to do before your wedding’ as it’s bound to overwhelm you or convince you that what you really need is a a whole load of crap that you really don’t.